I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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