I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
