Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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