Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
