In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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