The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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