I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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