Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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