Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
