Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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