Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
