You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
