Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
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I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
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I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...