Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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