somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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