dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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