Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
