no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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