girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
