flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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