I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
