Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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