So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
