so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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