At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
