i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
