I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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