Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize