Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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