Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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