I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
