You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
