Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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