Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
