Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
