well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
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Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
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He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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