Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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