Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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