So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
