I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
