My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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