I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
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