Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
All the doctor said was why
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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