he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
