so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
