Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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