a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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