tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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