We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
