that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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