after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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