I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
