I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
