problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I would fuck him just for his dog
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
