I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
