Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The best revenge is premature balding
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
