I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
