I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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