I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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