shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
