My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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