Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
