there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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